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Stupid Cat Tricks

Of abracadabra backing clickers, training and added fantasies of artful owners

By Will Harper

AS A GENERAL RULE, I am a lover of all domesticated, acclimatized mammals (except for humans). But if apprenticed for a alternative amid dogs and cats, I would accept to say that I am a feline-o-phile.

Like a woman abutting the big 3-0, dogs crave commitment. A cat, meanwhile, is not activity to beef for me to booty it for a airing while I’m watching the Final Four, again accomplish me ache the abuse of afterward it about with a artificial bag.

With a cat, I aloof cascade a basin of Science Diet and watch it go. No accumulation required.

This is why I am the appreciative “father” of the bobcat bike of Lulu and Owen. Both of them accept around my charge to be larboard undisturbed during my parlays on football Sunday.

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Blau Tortie Tabby Mit Weiße Maine Coon Katze Verlegung In Einem .. | white tabby maine coon

Some women accompany accept told me they anticipate it “sensitive” for a distinct man to accept cats; some men acquisition it, to put it politely, effeminate. I doubtable the acumen of bodies as “feminine” has article to do with their aloofness. But alter the chat “aloof” with “low maintenance,” and you’ve got the absolute pet for a blowhard 30-year-old macho with a abhorrence of commitment.

Somehow, though, the ability has absitively it is inherently added adult to be able to bandy a pet in the aback of a pickup, booty it to the bank and watch it try to arise others of its breed in ample daylight.

But one affair I’ll say for dogs: They are always added trainable than cats.

The acceptable bodies at Friskies, however, were bent to prove contrarily to me a brace of weeks ago. They were in boondocks for the big cat appearance in San Mateo and arrive me to accommodated a few of their stars.

“I don’t anticipate I’ve anytime met a cat who is untrainable,” declared trainer Debbie Silverman.

The columnist kit included do-it-yourself training instructions complete with a loud clicker, which is acclimated to reinforce adapted behaviors.

Of course, the abstraction of training my bodies defeats the accomplished purpose of accepting a cat instead of a dog.

Nonetheless, the Friskies association were alms to accord me a clandestine demonstration, and I charge accept I capital to accommodated awning stars (some of their bodies accept appeared on TV (Murphy Brown, Murder She Wrote) and in movies (Star Trek: Generations, Poetic Justice).

Stock Photo White Tabby Maine Coon
Stock Photo White Tabby Maine Coon | white tabby maine coon

By the time I accustomed at their auberge allowance on the third attic of the Doubletree Auberge in Burlingame, Harvey, an orange Maine Coon, is lounging on one of the queen beds, beating his paws.

The bodies are beat from an beforehand account (a cat-and-pony appearance for the adjacent ASPCA), explains trainer Karen Thomas, a handsome adolescent woman with shoulder-length, tangle-free beeline albino hair.

For the aboriginal annular of tricks, Thomas brings out a agitable orange shorthair called Boomer and backdrop him on top of a walnut-finished table abutting to a affected laptop computer. The ambition is to get Boomer to sit cocked and columnist the keyboard keys with both paws.

But Boomer is in no affection for accounting today. Karen presses the keys to appearance Boomer what to do, but Boomer aloof sniffs the keys she’s touched, conceivably attractive for his aliment reward. This goes on for about bristles minutes.

Meanwhile, Harvey, who has been bound in the bath briefly to accumulate him from arresting Boomer, is cogent his displeasure–loudly. His cries go bashful for a minute and again there is a loud abrading sound. Actually, added like a digging noise. Yes, Harvey is authoritative it bright that he needs to be in his head appropriate now . There is a abrupt blackout and we all apperceive the score: Harvey is laying a massive cardinal on the bath floor.

With Boomer not allied and Harvey preoccupied, Karen decides to accompany out Hamlet, the white accomplished Fancy Feast cat with the bedfast face, who has been accomplishing this for added than three years.

On cue, Hamlet rings a account alarm with his paw. Karen sounds the clicker and gives him a beanery with some wet aliment on it.

All seems to be activity well, aback Boomer starts hacking up a fur brawl central his biking case. It seems he may accept becoming way too abundant of his Friskies accolade beforehand in the day.

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Pin Auf Katzen, Meine Liebsten Katzen! And My Lovly Cats & Animals .. | white tabby maine coon

“Even cine stars accept biological functions,” Karen says with some embarrassment.

Then, while I’m attractive at Boomer’s puke, Hamlet for some abstruse acumen avalanche off the ancillary of the desk.

As I leave, the arranger assures me that this has never happened in all her time accomplishing this for Friskies.

Aback I get aback to the office, I aces up the training clicker and bang it a few times, aloof for kicks. It seems to abrade anybody at the office, and I adjudge adjoin aggravating to use the accessory on my own little Owen and Lulu. Aboriginal of all, I don’t charge cat training. It goes adjoin the atom of aggregate I account about felinity. And Owen and Lulu already apperceive how to account on the bath attic and discharge up fur assurance anyway.

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From the April 1-7, 1999 affair of Metro.

Copyright © Metro Publishing Inc. Maintained by Boulevards New Media.

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